Un Melange: Sleep, Friends, Americans, and Prayer

The internet has been down for a few days, or else I probably would have posted something since last Monday. In the last week I've had plenty of free time. I've been sleeping a ridiculous amount -- I suppose because of all the new input I'm processing -- typically going to bed a little after midnight and getting up around noon. I feel lazy, but I guess it's what my body and mind need. Besides, once classes start next week, I imagine I'll fall into a more regular rhythm, hopefully one that won't allow me to sleep away half of every day.

I've continued to get to know some of the people I mentioned in my last post. Chadie is always very polite and says hi when he walks by my room (he seems rather intentional in his use of the formal "vous" address). David (my neighbor) and I talk a couple times a day, and he even showed me around downtown when I told him I needed to go shopping for a coat (I just had to buy a black coat. As I mentioned in an earlier post, almost literally no one wears white coats in France, at least not in winter. Plus, French clothes are generally much cooler than American clothes). And Clemence invited me the other night to play rugby, of all sports, with a couple of her friends. In typical French fashion, she smoked on the way to the field and smoked after we were done playing. I found that pretty funny.

I've also continued going to the church/house down the street, and, amazingly, that place already feels like home. That church is a bunch of characters! On Sunday evenings there is an English service so the French-speakers can practice their English, and what a backwards experience that is, to speak my native language to a bunch of francophone people in France. I can't get over how strange it feels.

I don't mind speaking English with them; I sort of see it as a way of thanking or repaying them for being patient with me when we speak French. What I have very little tolerance for, however, is extensively speaking English with Americans. In the past week I've met a number of American exchange students. The first ones I met, I enjoy quite a bit. Anthony, Sarah, Rachel, and I had a great time making dinner and going downtown for a few drinks on Friday night. But as the week went on and I met more Americans, I started to feel more and more hesitant to reach out to them at all, to the point where I think I'd rather act aloof when I meet them so that they don't really want to hang out with me. My hesitation stems from my reason for being here: I want to learn French, not just the language but the culture, too. Hanging out with a bunch of Americans will hinder that. It has come as a totally unexpected challenge, not knowing how to distance myself from the people with whom I'd probably fit in best. And the stereotypes that the French hold about Americans, while by no means absolutely true, find their origins in actual observation. Today I came across a group of about ten American girls, standing outside the entrance to my dorm, talking loudly about where they were going to go shopping. It was an innocent enough conversation, but even before I heard them speaking, I thought to myself that they must be Americans. There's something about us taking up space, or congregating conscpicuously, or perhaps our ignoring that some of the world doesn't speak English, that simply doesn't sit well in France. It was really the first time on this trip I felt embarrassed to be an American.

If you feel at all inclined to pray for me, this situation with my American identity would be a great thing to pray about. I don't want to be mean to anyone, but I'm really not here to make friends with Americans or English-speakers at all. At the same time, I also don't want to feel embarrassed about my country. Ask that the Lord will guide me in whom I spend time with, and in whom I meet in the first place. You can also pray for the registration process here. I'm pretty sure we're choosing classes tomorrow, and those choices could shape the upcoming semester in a variety of ways. Pray that the Lord directs my choices, so that I can learn what I am supposed to learn and gain what I am supposed to gain.

And one last thing you could pray for is something I don't often ask prayer for. However, recently I've been feeling like I should share the gospel with people. It's kind of funny timing for such a feeling to arise, since most people I know speak French, and I'd have to explain the gospel in a second language. Then again, I don't think God typically bases His will off of what would fit conveniently into our particular stages in life. I've already seen potential for sharing with David, my neighbor, and Sarah, one of the Americans. Pray that I enter these relationships humbly, knowing that I am a visitor in this place and that I just recently met them. And pray that I would follow God's leading hand in full confidence of His goodness, knowing that my vision is nothing next to His vision. And if it is God's will that I share with them about His love, pray that He gives me the right words. It makes me think of Moses, actually, when God first tells him to free the Israelites from Egypt. In the Message translation (my only English Bible here), Moses objects to God's plan, saying, "Master, please, I don't talk well. I've never been good with words, neither before nor after you spoke to me. I stutter and stammer." God: "And who do you think made the human mouth?...I'll be right there with you -- with your mouth" (Ex. 4). So pray that God would be right there with my mouth should the time come to testify to His goodness, because, as far as I can tell right now, I will have no Aaron to speak for me :)